When We Face the End of Life, ‘It’s Not Sadness We Should Fear. It’s Regret.’

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Sarah Wildman lost her 14-year-old daughter, Orli, to cancer in March 2023. Before she died, Orli had questions about the end of her life, but as Wildman explains in this episode, that conversation wasn’t encouraged by Orli’s doctors and caregivers. Wildman argues that health care providers need to be frank and empathetic with patients and their families about the realities of death. “Everyone deserves the opportunity to sit with these questions at the end of life,” she says. “It’s not impossible, but doing so requires us to recognize: It’s not sadness we should fear. It’s regret.”

(A full transcript of this audio essay will be available within 24 hours of publication in the audio player above.)

Credit…Illustration by The New York Times; photo via Sarah Wildman

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This episode of “The Opinions” was produced by Jillian Weinberger. It was edited by Kaari Pitkin and Alison Bruzek. Mixing by Pat McCusker. Original music by Carole Sabouraud and Pat McCusker. Fact-checking by Mary Marge Locker and Kate Sinclair. Audience strategy by Kristina Samulewski and Shannon Busta. The executive producer of Opinion Audio is Annie-Rose Strasser.

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