Tolerating the Office When It Feels Like High School

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Nosy and Nasty

I also feel sometimes as though “real life” is like high school. Sometimes the personal and professional politics of adulthood bear an uncanny resemblance to the years of mid- to late adolescence. At work, like in secondary school, information is often considered currency, even at the expense of others’ privacy and reputations. And there’s always that one person who asks too many questions — or too many pointed questions — for our own comfort, especially when we have ample evidence that she or he is likely to turn right around and share our answers with others.

As for how to navigate this as an adult, you need to practice both acceptance and disengagement. There will always be some level of intrigue at work — I’ve never been in a workplace without it — but you are under no obligation to actively engage with it. Try to find a good reason to excuse yourself from certain conversations, or work to change the subject. I don’t know that any version of “this isn’t your concern” or “gross!” — however politely it is delivered — will do much good other than to further alienate you from your co-workers, who will no doubt take offense. This goes both for discussions you overhear about others, and those that your work colleague(s) try to jump-start about your own life experiences. (Side note: I don’t find it particularly intrusive that you’re being asked questions about your work schedule, but of course you’re not obligated to respond.)

A Potentially Tricky Situation