The End of the Blurb. Thank God.

Are you sitting down? In what the trade publication Publisher’s Weekly reported as a “stunning” or “tour-de-force” development, the publisher of Simon & Schuster’s flagship imprint has announced that it will no longer require authors to provide promotional blurbs for their books.

If you’re still standing and breathing normally, chances are you’re not an author. Be grateful! All these years, you have been spared the indignity of going on bended knee, begging people — generally more eminent than yourself — to sprinkle holy water on your manuscript.

If you are an author — a blurbee, as it were — you’re probably uttering hosannas of thanks to S&S publisher Sean Manning for this benison. And if you’re a blurber, that is, on the receiving end of requests for unction, your hosannas may even be more fervent.

Asking for praise is an undignified business. It is inherently awkward, especially if the person you’re asking is an acquaintance, friend, or worse yet, someone who sells more books than you do. (In my case, roughly 98 percent of the author-sphere.)

I know this from experience. After six books and almost two decades of mendicancy, my knees had to be surgically unbent. They weren’t the only damaged part of me. My self-esteem was so low, my self-loathing so high that I avoided mirrors.

Dear Mr. Updike, I know you must hate getting letters like this, but I was wondering if you’d drop whatever you’re doing and spend the next two days reading my new book.