I Write My Obituary, So I Can Live a Better Life

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Credit…Tomi Um

To the Editor:

Re “Why I Write My Obituary Every Year,” by Kelly McMasters (Opinion guest essay, Sept. 29):

I felt so connected to Ms. McMasters’s essay. Like her, I started this ritual when I was a child. Back then, my obituary was full of playful dreams, but as I grew older, it became a way to set goals that felt within reach.

Writing my own obituary has helped me stay true to myself. When life gets overwhelming, I sometimes forget what’s truly important to me.

Recently, while unpacking old boxes before a move, I stumbled upon a journal from my childhood. In it, I’d written about a small dream to start a charity once I got older and had my own money.

I’d forgotten about it and focused only on fulfilling my own desires. But seeing it again reminded me of the pure dreams I once had and how much I’d lost sight of that part of myself.

Inspired by my little note, I now try my best to be more mindful in my life. While Ms. McMasters’s mom used this as a reflection to face death, for me, it’s about staying true to the person I want to be.

This essay reminds me that this practice celebrates life.

Gracia Manuella
Queens

To the Editor:

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For my entire professional life, I both wrote and edited others’ obituaries. For that reason and more, I’ve also been the go-to for family and friends who have drafted me to write obituaries and eulogies for their loved ones … and even their own ahead of time!