Fashion
My Sister Chose My Birthday for Her Scheduled C-Section. I’m Annoyed!
After five years of sharing birthdays with her nephew, a reader is bristling at her sister’s decision to create a perennial scheduling conflict just for fun.
Five years ago, my sister chose my birthday as the date for her scheduled C-section. She said she thought it would be fun for her baby and me to share a birthday. I was annoyed but tried to be a good sport about it. Now, my nephew is turning 5, and I am still holding a grudge that my birthday was taken. This year, my sister is giving him a party, but I have my own plans. So, I will miss the party or not have the day to myself. And every year is more complicated than it has to be! I think it would have been better to have separate birthdays — even if they were a day apart. What’s done is done. But is it reasonable for me to feel irritated?
SISTER
When my birthday falls on a weekday — which is most years — I’m pretty flexible about finding an evening that’s convenient for my husband or friends to celebrate with me. It’s often not on my actual birthday. Most adults I know take a similar approach. And in my experience with young children, parents nearly always arrange kids’ parties for the weekend. So, I’m wondering if the problem you present — the complexity of a shared birthday — is the real issue here. Do you even celebrate them on the same day?
You are entitled to your feelings, of course. But I doubt that the root of your irritation is having to swing by your sister’s house for an hour to eat some birthday cake for a child. It seems more likely that it springs from her failure to ask you — five years ago — if it was OK to use your birthday for her son.
And I don’t believe your feelings will go away until you talk to your sister about it. No need to make a federal case of this. And be sure to tell her that you know she didn’t mean to upset you. Then say: “But I wish you’d asked me about choosing my birthday.” As you say, what’s done is done. But getting this off your chest may help.
What a Difference a Semester Makes
I am a senior in high school, and my ex is a freshman in college. She broke up with me over text recently, and she doesn’t want to talk until she comes home for Thanksgiving. I’m struggling with whether I should talk to her and give her a second chance. Some background here: I learned from her roommate that my ex smoked weed. She knows I hate it and lied to me when I asked her about it. She also lied about going to a frat party; I can track her location on my phone. I’m not sure what to do. Should I give her another shot?
