An Invitation to Join America? Mr. Douthat, We Canadians ‘Politely Decline.’

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To the Editor:

Re “O Canada, Come Join Us,” by Ross Douthat (column, Jan. 12):

Dear Mr. Douthat,

We read your invitation to join the American family, and while we’re flattered, we must politely decline.

Think of us Canadians as your favorite cousin who loves poutine over burgers and health care over havoc. We cherish our friendly rivalry, like beating you at hockey, but living together? Perhaps not.

You suggest we abandon our quaint customs like universal health care, generous parental leave and that cute little thing we call gun control. And as much as we love visiting your beautiful bustling cities, we adore our community-focused, syrup-sweet lifestyle even more.

We’re a modest bunch, albeit a bit smug about our politeness and how we manage to embrace everyone, from every corner of the globe. Our mosaic is colorful, our winters are white and our hearts — forever red with maple leaf pride.

So, while we appreciate the familial invite, think of us as the relatives who love family reunions but prefer their own home afterward. After all, someone has to keep the rink lights on.

Feel free to visit Canada anytime, Mr. Douthat — no need to bring a casserole, just an open mind and maybe a hockey stick.