The Debate Over Gender-Affirming Care

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To the Editor:

Re “U.S. Gender Care Is Ignoring Science,” by Pamela Paul (column, July 14):

I appreciated the depth and thoughtfulness of Ms. Paul’s column. But as the mother of a trans daughter, I question her conclusion that the evidence is against gender-affirming care, given the confusing mix of information, research, opinion and anecdotes swirling around the issue.

My child told us clearly she was a girl a few days shy of her fourth birthday, and she has been clear about her gender identity ever since. We have been through years of family counseling, and she has continued with an individual counselor as well. We have tried to be careful, not make assumptions in either direction and listen well. Now 10, she has expressed to me and my husband extreme distress at the idea of going through puberty as a boy.

Since we live in a state that does not allow puberty blockers, we have begun the process of trying to find her care elsewhere. Despite sharing the concerns that Ms. Paul lists and shouldering the expense and exhaustion of having to go out of state, what is clear to me as a parent is that forcing my daughter to wait until she had fully developed as a male before being able to access medical interventions would be cruel. Every day for her would be an agony.

And in a country where transgender people of color are disproportionately targeted as victims of violent crimes, forcing her to look like a man who is dressed as a woman could result in serious harm.

I understand and agree with much of what Ms. Paul says. But I wonder why we can’t allow for more nuance. Is the medical system unable to handle differentiating care? Why must we outlaw medical interventions that for a small minority are quite literally lifesaving? Why can’t we put into place reasonable safeguards to protect the many so that the few can still access the care that they need?

Name Withheld
San Antonio
The writer requested anonymity to protect the privacy of her child.

To the Editor:

Thank you for publishing this article! Pamela Paul reflects the views of so many who are afraid to say it out loud.

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